New Blog

Like most of my other blogging friends, I've turned to the dark side  . ..  for refreshment, and to follow others.
Hate to say it, but the Blogspot/Blogger world is dead .. . .

http://chameleonsimone.wordpress.com/

My Temporary German Lover . . .

It feels so sad and surreal to be sitting on the bed of my room, all alone, when only 24 hours ago, I was sharing this space with a connected soul whom I believe I have sadly fallen in love with. I have spent the past week, exactly, with this amazing man, practically every waking moment, and enjoyed each as pure bliss and taking each one in fully, making the most of something that fits so well yet ironically, is the most temporary thing I have ever come across in my entire life.

How does that work?

The whole situation is so ironic, as being one who has always either had early fails, or a bad view on meeting people online, I came across Jan’s ad on Gumtree in the community pages, whilst searching for local art groups and tree plantings, a rare occurrence that I tend to venture to when I have a dull weekend. I hesitated but thought, what the heck, he sounded so interesting, I may as well continue trying to make friends in this insane town. And a friend I did make . . . we caught up for a beer and 5 hours later left feeling very proud of myself, and also somewhat attracted. We spent much time together before he left again, to continue his travels around Australia, this time heading to the outback. I was quite saddened at him leaving, but after keeping in continuous contact, we met again, further down the coast, and thus once again came to this sad conclusion, the heartbreaking of seeing a loved one go.

And there is that fleeting thought that I could be forgotten, or that we simply may never get the chance to see each other again. Whilst such a short experience, I found it so intense and so very real and one of the most enjoyable experiences I have ever had. It brings forth the quote”

“It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”.

But this experience has also sparked something new in me. No not quite new, but rather a refreshed desire. And now, it has given my desire a kick, like I simply have the catalyst to get it into motion with more enthusiasm and passion as opposed to every other time it has crossed my mind . . .

Travel.

I have wanted to journey areas of Europe and see the sights and sounds of a lush landscape brimming with history for years now, castles, museums, stunning architecture, etc. Places that have an atmosphere, cultures with depth. And whilst it has always crossed my mind, even when I get ideas and decide to take the task on of saving and preparing for a trip . . . it always seems to disappear, I get distracted by something else that is perhaps worthy of my time and money. The overseas travel gets pushed aside for interstate travel instead, which I have now fulfilled enough I do believe. Time for a completely new horizon, and now, I have the excuse of a friend/acquaintance to aid me in parts of my travel (he reigns from Germany), as I have done for him.

There is also that underlying fear of, as mentioned earlier, being forgotten. Of our relationship, which is only possible as friends, really, falling through by the time I get over there. He could have a wife and 3 kids by the time I get there, which is pretty unlikely, but would mean an awkward situation of meeting up again when he has a new lover by his side who may know of the past.           

Who knows what could happen, really? But I also think that whilst Jan is now a great catalyst to get my arse into gear, I cannot rely on him for my happiness. I am not doing it solely for the purpose of him.  It would appear even more stupid, as once again, after another meeting with him, we will swap places and it will be I who will be leaving to continue on in life elsewhere, and we will both be left heartbroken once again.  A long term possibility could never be on the cards, as I cannot see the point in moving to the other side of the world for one person, when you leave hundreds of family and friends behind . . . 

 

One cannot use Facebook to Change The World

So many thoughts.

I recently found out that my local council has voted against the fluoridation of town water. I, avid believer in all things natural, and a natural medicine student myself (as well as a general person with an open mind who is lately studying everything she finds fascinating and meaningful!) am quite happy with this.

And I decided to express my happiness on facebook.

And didn’t I get the cynics.

I am getting out of the phase of expressing my opinions on other people’s status updates or posts when they post something that I am against, or when I have even read the studies that show elsewise. I still do every now and then, but have since settled for the fact that people in general are opinionated and stubborn when it comes to their own opinions and arrogance. And I am guilty of it myself. I couldn’t help but express my concern over how a radio station has changed over the past 10 years and turned into something that is exactly what it was against 10 years ago, and people pop in and tell me don’t listen to it – but they just missed the point. And obviously didn’t listen to Triple J 10-20 years ago . . . but that’s not the point to myself now.

But after posting this status on facebook, and getting everyone going against me the moment I do about how they have perfect teeth and how fluoride has worked for them, and how I mustn’t have fluoride damage to my teeth even though I stated that I only found out after a dental surgeon saw them and tested them and mentioned it to me after years of being pissed off about my teeth looking like shit . . .

But no, I wasn’t right. Flouride is all bollocks because the people that commented stated that they had never had an issue with their teeth, and they have been through fluoridated water and non-fluoridated water amnd never had an issue.

Just like all those other people who have been drinking the same water I have for the past 25 years who don’t have the same issues as I do . . .

Everyone is different.

Just liken everyone has different opinions for different reasons. Its’ like there is no scientific basis to fact anymore . . . especially with the information overload known as the internet. I must say I have focused on some studies such as dairy and cancer being linked,e tc. And found fruitful information, enough to convince me. But there are still those bouts of proof against, as there is always. Makes you wonder what and who to trust these days. What do you believe? Especially with my Naturopathy studies, where what I have learnt over and over is that dairy, grains, sugar and meat all feed cancer, adn cause cancer. Spinach is an awesome green food.
But then . .  I am a Blood  Type O. My blood type is mainly meat and vegetables, but it also tells me to avoid spinach and sprouts. Meanwhile, meat is bad for you, but spinach and sprout are awesome . .. but you can’t eat them., It doesn’t make sense to me.
Raw diets are good for you .  ..  but there are numerous fruits and vegetables that actually provide you with more nutrients when they are cooked, as opposed to raw. And apparently, it is easier for your body to digest when it is cooked, as opposed to being raw.
A diet of high fibre is good for you and prevents cancer . .. but other studies show it strongly linked.

There are numerous little pinpoints like this throughout my studies I have picked up. And whilst the majority of my studies is basic anatomy and physiology adn sciene studies so far, it’s the assignments imbetween, and the world I have engaged myself ;and am moving deeper and deeper into everyday, that are all teaching me these little things.

I’m just over it. I really, fucking am.

I am making my own list of life lessons and philosophies for myself, judged on everything I have learned in my first 25 years of life. And no doubt this will all change again years down the line. But for now, I stick by what I see and know.

And fuck what everyone else thinks.

I think I am keen to vow never to update my status on facebook ever, ever again. Or perhaps I can challenge myself, like I have life doing with various other thigns in life lately, to at least not update my status, nor comment on another’s status,f or the rest of the eyar.

I wonder if there is any point in sharing the numerous inspiring, meaning quotes and pictures and articles that all point towards how ot make a better world, and proof of why our world is falling apart in the first place.

People just ignore that shit anyway. Facebook is not the way to change the world. I would have thought that all these quotes and “pictorials” that pop up on one’s newsfeeds mean that lazy people don;t actually have to read much, look at much or think much when gazing upon these . . . .but it would appear otherwise. People still skim past them. Or they read them and think “Meh, who gives a shit I got my own life to life.”

I don;t know how people can be so selfish to live their own life and be happy when the world around them is falling to pieces. It doesn’t seem that bad to those who close their minds and choose not to read the paper or watch the news, who choose to walk past that homeless person in the street, or shield themselves from those stands at the markets and expos or in shopping centres that post pictures of turtles choking on plastic bags. A feeling of guilt perhaps . . .

It;s like they say the world begins with YOU. With your THOUGHTS. With thoughts we create the world. But what use is that saying when the thoughts are stuck inside your head? It’s not until these thoughts become ACTIONS that the world will actually change. Some people might sit there and walk past these environmental stands that are asking for a simple signature or a donation to afford to buy back rainforest to prevent logging and development and keep the habitat of all those animals that are vital to the biodiversity of the planet, and therefore the health of the planet, and therefore the health of ourselves . . . .they will walk past and ignore these people, in case it is “shameful” to be seen helping the “hippies” or they might walk past thinking “Hmm I do agree and I do support the cause . . .but I couldn;t be fucked stopping today, especially in case they start dribbling shit to me about irrelevant crap that bores me”.
Their thoughts are there . ..  but the actions are not.

  

Far from what I once was . . . but where am I at?

Constantly feel like I’m looking for myself lately. I feel like I’m still at this halfway point of what I once was but not yet what I’m going to be, what I want to be, what I should be. There is more to it than just doing what I feel I should be doing. There’s more to it than just walking the walk, and talking the talk. There is something more deep, internal, mind, emotions, soul . .  .something is not 100% satisfied within me, it is restless. It drives me insane, but only because I am impatient. It is ever so interesting having a very open mind, trying to grasp at every opportunity and take on the things that I feel create myself, challenge myself, better myself. It’s never-ending, but I think my problem, or part thereof, is that I don’t finish something that I’ve started, and I’m not putting my 100% into things that I should, like avoiding the big companies and saving money. My study is another one, yet that is one thing I don’t think I’m 100% on anymore . . . Natural Medicine, or just being healthy . . .and this open-mindedness, and constantly learning, has aided my lack of bother with this field . . .  yet I know I have got to put effort into something that I have started, and know that what I have to finish of it (which is still only half the course) will be worth it.

It’s like I only want to fill my time with those things I enjoy, that help me grow. I feel like no time should be wasted. And in the meantime, here I sit, contemplating and writing my thoughts about refining and improving my own life and mind . . . .

Then I will spend more fulfilling time painting whilst listening to The Beatles, my savior in times of need.

With Thoughts We Create The World

I am still quite the restless soul when it comes to wondering what on earth I really want to do with my life . . .Naturopathy is turning out to be somewhat full of contradictions and is more complicated than I expected, for the simple reason that to avoid all toxins in today's world, one should turn primitive, grow their own produce, raise and kill their own meat, breathe a completely different air and drink an entirely different water.

That’s today's world for you. Is there hope?

I have always been a lover of nature, but the past 5 years or more have represented an eye-opener to today's world in the way of where we are heading. Last year was awesome. I have delved into so much knowledge, and now feel as though I know everything to take on the wrongs of the world, although this, however, cannot be done, considering so many wrongs are brought about by the most powerful people on the planet, also representing but 5% of the entire world’s population. Shocker.

My passion lately, particularly the past year (probably due to being introduced to so much more evidence) is the environment. I am extremely keen to take on a career role that involves working with the environment in some way, whether it be civil construction or land management, much as the sales area I am now involved in, or even simple administration or campaigning/volunteering duties for an ethical organisation, such as the WWF, or The Wilderness Society (for those in Australia). There are so many of them out there.

Which also makes me wonder . . . with the internet at our fingertips, numerous organisations out there putting their efforts in to make change and spread the word, and even the media now throwing the threat of climate change and hidden dangers around us in our faces . . . why are there still so many ignorant, careless people?

I have almost finished an amazing book by David Suzuki . . . simply a collection of his “lifetime of ideas” consisting of numerous small essays published into the one book, summing up a lot of the problems we are facing, and will face, into the one copy. It’s a brilliant read, and I feel so proud to have picked it up from a second-hand market stall for $1. Bless the lady that sold me that book (she also sold me the dalai lamas Key To Happiness, but somehow, that is not on the top of my list of books to read!) In one of the later chapters, he speaks about how our children, and our youth, are part of the power that needs to be – they are to be in control of this world, and they haven’t got the time to waste. They need to be educated properly, but unfortunately, our education systems aren’t all that knowledgeable. Full of gaps and silences, they don’t provide enough detail. And  the kids get bored.
They aren’t feeling threatened  . .. well they should be!

David talks of an amazing Japanese teacher who travels to schools around the country for a programme where she shows the kids that everything in nature is sacred and connected. Once we start diminishing these connections, the power wheel that is known as nature begins to fail, and we will go with it. She taught children to close their eyes and kind of put themselves into an act of visual meditiation, where she gets the children to imagine they are an egg about to hatch, a newborn animal running form predators, scouring for food, flying free through the air or swimming in the chilly waters of a stream.

A lot of it all makes me think . . .hmm, what the shit do I want to do with my life, how can I incorporate my love of nature and dedication to making a difference on this earth, whilst still spreading the word and educating others? Something that will take me somewhere ... . could teaching be the way?

I have always considered being an English/History teacher. I am just that kind of person – yes, you are usually either a “Maths” brain or an “English” brain, and I , being the latter of the two, decided to embark on the challenge of the science-based course of  Natural Medicine a few years ago now. I’m still only halfway through it, and probably get no further due to my doubts, my financial insecurity with it all, and my guilty feeling of hypocrisy, when I am studying a field that recommends organic foods and all things healthy, when I am trying to live frugally on a tight budget and am going for grains and dairy, with the additions of tinned foods here and there to bulk up my meals. Tomorrow night I intend on having baked potatoes filled with fresh tomatoes, tinned beans and probably some diced fried bacon on top. Healthy, but not healthy. It’s like a cross reference. Beans are full of protein and nutrients, but they are canned. Potatoes are a vegetable, but a starchy one full of carbs. Fresh tomatoes are good in each adn every way, except they are acidic, and one’s blood should be alkaline to be of ideal health. Bacon . . . there isn’t much positive about fried bacon bits. Not at all. But it is a cheap meal. And filing.

And makes me feel guilty to think that I am supposed to be on the track of a health lifestyle and promoting it to others  . . . when I struggle to do so myself. How am I supposed to tell people, who are stuggling to keep a roof over their heads, feed their families, work full time then come home to cook and clean and look after the kids, that to live a healthy lifestyle, they need to take drastic actions such as fresh fruit and vegies, often requiring more preparation and therefore time for meals, a decen filter on their tap, which can cost $800 if you don’t wnat fluoride in your water, cut down on your personal care products due to the chemicals present in them, when so many on the market are there they are so hard to find and escape from, and the healthier alternatives are often triple the price . . .all these little things people just find too hard. People don’t want to bother spending more time cooking a meal just because it will bebetter for then. They don’t ahve the money to buy that organic lipstick as opposed to that $10 one from the chemist up the road. All these factors I see in everyday people around me, and it makes me wonder if I am talking to brick walls.

As with the environmental matters. Brick walls.

Children, on the other hand, are more open minded. Their minds are like sponges. And teaching would be a great way to get in there. The issue being, I couldn’t just sit and force feed it down their throats, ignoring all other learning techniques. Even with high school students, you woulnd’t get away with that.

But it could be a start. It could be that little nudge in the door, to spreading the word about what matters most in this world. IT could make a difference.

Do I want to embark on this career?

Maybe. It would me much more convenient then taking on Environmental Science, which holds that nasty science word again. It’s not a generic science, either, something that I could teach to high school students. No ,it’s 3 years of very in-depth, biological, chemistry-related, jargon. IT would be a challenge, as my science-related subjects already have been with this Naturopathy thing happening here, but a positive challenge. And once I’m out of it, wow, the things I know. And the proof I could shove in people’s faces. And when they turn around and say “Bullshit, you just read that on the internet” I can say “No actually I studied it indepth for 3 years at university .  . .” For the time being, I can access basic case studies online. And my “old friend” Dan has been a great source of comfort and knowledge in this regard, proving many things to me that he himself has learned through his studying. It’s getting to be “No, but I have learnt this from a god friend of mine who studied it intensely at university and  has passed on much evidence and knowledge to me for my own use . . .”

For the present time, however, I will continue to work at a challenging, yet stressful job, that is at least in the field I want to be in, that can still get me somewhere now I have the experience and the big words to put on my resume, with some decent references. It’s like a foot in the door.
And then when I get my foot in that door to open it wider, I can embark on a more fulfilling career, that would nicely earn me soem more comfortable money, so I can then get myself out of debt and not have to play a role in the GFC, and start saving aside for some travel time.

My early next year, I do hope, fingers crossed, that I will at least have enough money to get myself out of this country and travelling into Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos. There is also Thailand as a possibility, but everyone has been there, which bores me. I know 2 people, both very beautiful, who have done Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos. Their climate and landscapes, their history and their temples, all intrigue me. It is a nice start, anyway, into the world of travel which I have so dearly wanted to embark for some time now. When I had the funds, I never had the thoughts in the right place, and now that my thoughts are there, the funds are not. And they dwindle more and more as inconveniences pop up, like my laptop dying right before Christmas, my blender dying just then so no more green smoothies for a while. My amplifier to play my music is still sitting gathering dust, unable to turn on for some reason, wanting to be replaced or repaired, and to help reimburse my sanity with the sound of music. My car needs new brakes, and my rear tyres are hardened. My rego is due next week, and my electricity bill next month. My credit card is out of my wallet in hope that I will refrain from spending it on bits and pieces, mainly food, sadly, and I can get it paid off in a few months, with my lousy $80 a week put towards it.

But then, if I didn;t ahve a credit card, that $80 a week could go toward flights out of here.